Homecoming

Are you an American living and working abroad in Asia, who is considering moving back home? Based on my personal experience, let me outline the major advantages and disadvantages of life back in the motherland so you know what you’re in for (this could apply to other Westerners as well):

1) You are closer to your family. Being able to frequently visit your family, without having to endure a crappy 15-hour flight (or multiple flights with a layover) may prove to be the main benefit of moving back home.

2) The internet works here. Those who have lived in China understand what a frustrating, time-wasting drag it can be to have to fire up a VPN to use Google, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, or Blogger.com. A VPN that may not even work or be fast enough for your needs. I have wasted weeks of my life trying to get on the internet in China.

3) Work is no fun anymore. There is no getting around the fact that most jobs absolutely suck in the US. Unlike in Asia, unless perhaps you work for a rapidly growing company in a new industry, there is no “Wild West” feel to going to work every day – no adventure or novelty.

In China and other Asian countries, the normal drudgery of work is alleviated by the fact that service industries are in general (much) less mature, so:

  • Things are changing rapidly, which is fun to watch.
  • The standards and expectations for you are lower than in the US, giving you more personal freedom.
  • It is easier to achieve distinction within the system and, in some cases, to make improvements to the organization you work for.

At one point, I was literally the only Westerner working in my industry in a certain large Chinese city. What can I say, it was fun. That feeling of novelty is completely gone as I labor in the climate-controlled sweatshops of Corporate America™.

Reader, it sucks. If you work in a corporate environment, unless you are some kind of genius you will be constantly challenged and shown up by your intelligent, put-together colleagues. You will know shame and embarrassment as you try to bullshit your way through a conversation with a fellow American who sees right through you. You will feel dull resentment at the fact that punctuality matters in America – that 8:00 AM means 8:00 AM. And you will wonder why the hell you left your cushy position in Asia for… this.

4) You don’t get extra credit for being white. Well, putting aside the alleged systemic racism of America… being an unremarkable white dude won’t get you anywhere in a sea of white dudes. Job offers will not be thrown at you. Complements will fail to be offered on your physique or your excellent command of English. Randos that you meet at parties will decline to become your friends for life just because you were born in the US. You’ll have to up your game…. considerably.

5) Things are more expensive. Duh. I have not analyzed my personal finances, but I don’t think I’m saving more than I did overseas, even though I earn considerably more. Minus taxes and rent, I am pocketing about the same amount of money that I did before leaving China.

6) Service quality is better. By and large, service staff are more knowledgeable and competent than in Asia. Also, they are used to dealing with high-maintenance customers, and without a language barrier it’s easier to communicate your unique requests. Tipping means that waiters and bartenders will aim to please. On the other hand, the excessive friendliness of some service people can be annoying. And some give you drama because America is a land of pathological narcissists.

7) Politics is a minefield. In Asia, political issues are so alien to what we encounter at home that your opinions (whether or not you are tactless enough to volunteer them to your Asian friends or colleagues) will be viewed, like everything else about you, as a curiosity. In other words, irrelevant. There are exceptions – you would be stupid to get sucked into a debate with a Chinese person about Taiwan, Tibet, or the Communist Party, for example. And just smile and nod if any Asian wants to give you an earful about US foreign policy toward their country. If you steer clear of those obvious pitfalls, you can say pretty much whatever you want and enjoy the total lack of impact it has on your professional and personal life.

This is not the case in the US. As America’s political polarization deepens and acquires a scary, violent flavor, your opinions are becoming your uniform. You have to be very careful about what you say in the workplace. Avoid political conversations like the Ebola virus. If you don’t agree with someone’s blabbed opinion, say nothing or offer a placating banality. However, even your silence, your failure to provide immediate and resounding assent, will get you labeled as one of “them,” a label that will probably never wash off. This may or not be a problem for you, depending on what company/industry you work in.

8) Attractive women are harder to get. This has been written about extensively in the so-called manosphere, and I don’t really have anything new to add. Suffice it to say, Asia’s reputation as a sexual Disneyland for white men is wholly deserved. It is pathetically easy to get laid in Asia and, perhaps more importantly, you would have to be a complete mouth-breathing loser not to be able to find true romance with a cute Asian woman of good character, if that is what you seek.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say this is not the case with American women. Fred Reed has written what may be the canonical article on the differences between American and Asian women. There are obviously many exceptions, but as a general rule I think he’s on the mark.

To sum up, if you’re looking for love you may be better off staying in the exotic and erotic East.

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Whatever your decision, what you want to avoid is becoming like the white seamen hanging out in Eastern ports in Joseph Conrad’s Lord Jim:

The majority were men who, like himself, thrown there by some accident, had remained as officers of country ships. They had now a horror of the home service, with its harder conditions, severer view of duty, and the hazard of stormy oceans. They were attuned to the eternal peace of Eastern sky and sea. They loved short passages, good deck-chairs, large native crews, and the distinction of being white. They shuddered at the thought of hard work, and led precariously easy lives, always on the verge of dismissal, always on the verge of engagement, serving Chinamen, Arabs, half-castes — would have served the devil himself had he made it easy enough. They talked everlastingly of turns of luck: how So-and-so got charge of a boat on the coast of China — a soft thing; how this one had an easy billet in Japan somewhere, and that one was doing well in the Siamese navy; and in all they said — in their actions, in their looks, in their persons — could be detected the soft spot, the place of decay, the determination to lounge safely through existence.

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